Saturday, April 30
My Story
I have always been somewhat girlie, however, that changed during junior high school and I started moving more away from the matching skirt and sweater sets that my great-aunt would buy me for Christmas and more towards ripped jeans and Vans sneakers.
As a preteen, my idols became rock stars, both living and dead: Kurt Cobain, Billy Corgan, Kim Gordon, Courtney Love, and Kat Bjelland. Read that list again. A majority of the people listed are women. Although they presented themselves as feminine women, there was a hint of irony to this performance. Kim Gordon came across as a no-nonsense badass bass player that just happened to wear lipstick and bleach her hair. She wore shirts with emblazoned slogans on them like, “Eat Me” with her mini-skirts. She wasn’t some willowy little girl singer, she had power in spite of her femininity. Other musicians like Courtney Love or Kat Bjelland went so over-the-top with their appearances that it reached the level of parody. They wore short baby doll dresses with ripped tights and tiaras. Instead of singing sweetly into the microphone, they shredded with their screams and guitar riffs.
Seeing this growing up, flipped a switch in me and I once said, “The only way you’ll get me into a dress is if I was holding a guitar.” Much like the second-wave femininists that Jennifer Baumgardner and Amy Richards cite in their article, “How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love the Thong,” my 13-year-old self equated femininity with wimpyness. There had to be an indicator of my non-wimpyness in the form of an electric guitar, something loud and forceful.
However, I did not attempt to try this theory out. After guitar lessons with a varying amount of success, I still wore my uniform of too-large polo shirts, long, unkempt hair, and ripped jeans. Between 10th and 11th grade, however, I discovered riot grrrl. The riot grrrl movement was feminism specifically for girls like me. A bunch of cool young women proudly called themselves girls and started their own bands and zines. They also looked cool, although the subculture consisted mainly of white girls, I saw a lot more diversity in terms of how they talked about society and the restraints placed on all girls: middle class white girls as well as queer girls or poor girls or girls of color. These girls weren’t polite, they didn’t conform and they wore whatever they wanted: t-shirts, jeans, homemade dresses or skirts, thrift-store finds, plastic jewelry, sneakers or pumps. It was like this modge-podge free-for-all that I had never been aware of existing for girls. Like a game of dress-up, I could try on different outfits and see if they fit me.
After this revelation, I started wearing make-up in 11th grade, at the age of sixteen. It felt really empowering to lacquer my lips with bright red tints, wear tights, mini-skirts, ripped cardigans, and sneakers. My best friend and I bought vintage prom dresses and took each other to the prom, in lieu of male companions.
This brought about a confusing time in my life. I never fell in love with my best friend but I felt like companionship with a close female friend was the most intimate relationship that I needed. I had crushes on male classmates but I felt more comfortable around my female friends. Looking back, I recall becoming enamored with some friends more than others and wondering why that was. When I was 16 and 17, I started meeting new people, in real life and online, who called themselves “lesbian” or “queer” and I started to understand that perhaps I was not straight. However, a strange thing happened and as I questioned my sexuality more and more, I took on more feminine traits. Wearing jeans became a thing of the past as I sought out pleated skirts, mary jane shoes, or vintage coats with faux-fur collars. My femininity grew in scale proportional to my recognition of my queer identity.
Bitch Magazine's Handy Feminism Definition Guide
THIRD-WAVE FEMINISM
When the media takes a moment off from ponderously declaring feminism dead or irrelevant to have a look around at contemporary feminists, all it seems to find are third-wavers: If you’re under 40 and you’re a feminist, then you’re a third-wave feminist—regardless of your politics.
While the first wave of feminism (the campaign for women’s suffrage) spanned some 150 years, the second wave was allotted less than a quarter-century before being declared “over” by the mainstream media, most notably by Time’s 1989 cover story (careful readers will note that this one was a full nine years before their even more infamous 1998 “Is Feminism Dead?” cover). Thus, in 1989, when NOW president Patricia Ireland declared that, in response to increasing federal and state restrictions on abortion, a “third wave is coming,” she was acknowledging both the effect of the decade-long backlash (soon to be limned by Susan Faludi in her 1991 book of the same name) in dampening the public face of feminism and the growing activism by young, college-age women. In 1992, Rebecca Walker and Shannon Liss formed the Third Wave Direct Action Corporation (which became the Third Wave Foundation) to mobilize young people—especially young women—to become politically active; its commitment to a multiracial, multigender, and multiclass organizing effort is a hallmark of the best of third-wave activism.
The third-wave moniker has been applied to folks with a huge range of political beliefs, from the in-your-face, punk-rock tactics of riot grrrls to Naomi Wolf’s Beauty Myth/Fire with Fire power feminism to Jennifer Baum gardner and Amy Richards’s feminism-is-for-everybody activism to Bust’s (and Bitch’s) media-savvy 18-to-34-year-old demographic. From its first utterance, the notion of a third wave has generated controversy and concern that both the media and young women were (and are), in their own ways, flattening the powerful complexities and nuances of second-wave feminism into a man-hating, anti-lipstick stereotype, and setting up a generational antagonism.
Today, “third-wave feminism” is often used to describe a kind of companionable, man-friendly, pro-sex, pro–femininity-if-you-want-it feminism that reflects the successes of the second wave’s struggle for equal footing. Although third-wave feminists are engaged in a wide variety of grassroots political organizing (from voter-registration drives to campaigns to save abortion rights), much of the ink spilled on the third wave from both the mainstream press and feminist anthologies paints a picture of a generation that is more interested in self-determination and individual decisions than in understanding the political impact of them.
Girlie feminism
Jennifer Baumgardner and Amy Richards coined this term in their 2000 book Manifesta: Young Women, Feminism, and the Future to describe the pro-femininity line of young feminists, most notably expressed by Bust. The reclamation of makeup and other girly accoutrements, and the validation of traditionally female activities like cooking, crafting, and talking about sex, they concluded, is a valid way to express the desire for equality—valuing the inherently female aspects of life, rather than trying to erase them
Unfortunately, the tenets of girlie feminism—that women’s work is valuable; that crafts are a powerful link to female history; that sexual experimentation is a potent means of feminist expression—have been easily co-opted by market forces and, in many cases, diluted by the resulting slew of consumer products (emphasis mine).
See the rest at: http://bitchmagazine.org/article/everything-about-feminism
"I love food and hate exercise. I don’t have time to work out… I don’t want to be on the cover of Playboy or Vogue. I want to be on the cover of Rolling Stone or Q. I’m not a trend-setter… I’m a singer… I’d rather weigh a ton and make an amazing album then look like Nicole Richie and do a shit album. My aim in life is never to be skinny." —Adele Adkins
Femininity & Feminism Survey, Part 3
Jen S.
I'm a girl who's a 'mo.
If you most closely relate to femininity as a model of self-presentation, what does that concept mean for you?
People know I'm a girl but I tend to dress androgynous. I feel more feminine in a stereotypical way when I wear more feminine clothing like shirts with ruffles or smaller patterns like polka dots. But I usually don't feel comfortable dressing in anything other than t-shirts and jeans and I still feel feminine dressing in this manner.
Which of these words most closely relates to your identity: queer/femme/butch/lady/girlie/woman/dude/lesbian/gay/straight/andro/trans? (add other terms if necessary)
Andro describes my appearance the most.
Is a combination of these words necessary to define your self-identity?
When I call myself "androgynous," I'm still definitely a woman. It's important for people to know that I'm a woman. I've been mistaken for trans before and I have never identified as or felt trans.
How do you define "femininity"?
I was just thinking about that the other day about how it's based on appearance but...I don't know. Maybe I'd say, being in touch with your gender, being in touch with being a woman. Feeling comfortable with yourself as a woman. I don't think "feminine" should only apply to how you dress.
Do you see femininity as limiting or freeing? How do you argue for or against "traditional" forms of femininity?
I would like to think of femininity as freeing as long as it's not in the "traditional" form. I think a lot of people are afraid to identity with femininity because it's seen as being about one's appearance. I think a lot of people like me aren't seen as feminine or like to call themselves feminine because of how I look compared to the feminine ideal. But, I think that I am feminine even though I don't encompass some of the physical traits.
What does "femme" or "femininity" personally mean to you? Do you relate to these terms? Do you project your own definition onto these terms and re-define them?
I think I touched upon that in the above question. But, I think femininity should refer to being a female not to any specific duties, like house chores, or appearance.
I like women that are comfortable in their femininity. Being a lesbian makes you fit into weird categories. If you don't fit in a specific category, people don't know where to place you...
Can femininity be a revolutionary act?
Hell yeah! Because it should represent what it means to be a woman not just wearing dresses and lipstick. It should be. I'm aching for a new Riot Grrrl type of revolution. My new definition of femininity would be: believe in yourself as a lady and know that you are strong and capable.
Do you consider yourself a feminist? If yes, have you ever seen femininity as limiting to your feminism? If no, why not?
Yes, I'm a feminist! The way that femininity is portrayed is limiting since it's marketed to straight dudes. I want to change the definition of femininity to be synonymous with feminism.
Femininity & Feminism Survey, Part 2
Ashlee E.
How do you self-identify?
As human.
If you most closely relate to femininity as a model of self-presentation, what does that concept mean for you?
Femininity is something that was a learned behavior for me. I'm not sure it's something that comes natural to me. I would watch my mom put her mascara on in the morning, listened when she told me to sit with my legs together, paid attention to the actresses she found classy...those things stuck with me, and I guess intrinsically became part of me.
Which of these words most closely relates to your identity: queer/femme/butch/lady/girlie/woman/dude/lesbian/gay/straight/andro/trans? (add other terms if necessary)
None of them appeal to me, but "lady" if forced to choose.
Is a combination of these words necessary to define your self-identity?
Not at all.
How do you define "femininity"?
I don't think it's definable.
Do you see femininity as limiting or freeing? How do you argue for or against "traditional" forms of femininity?
I think it can be both. For me, femininity is another aspect to my character, which is not always feminine. I call upon it when it seems necessary or natural. Some women seemed trapped by the concept. It can become a very one dimensional trait if women dwell on it too much.
What does "femme" or "femininity" personally mean to you? Do you relate to these terms? Do you project your own definition onto these terms and re-define them?
I don't relate to them as I rarely think of them.
Can femininity be a revolutionary act?
I think being a female full-ranged human is more revolutionary.
Do you consider yourself a feminist? If yes, have you ever seen femininity as limiting to your feminism? If no, why not?
I don't really consider myself a feminist. It's a movement I don't identify with because I find it limiting.
Femininity & Feminism Survey, Part 1
Joanne C.
How do you self-identify?
I'm a Korean American, queerish, ladydude scientist.
If you most closely relate to femininity as a model of self-presentation, what does that concept mean for you?
Excellent question. Femininity for me has a lot to do with physical self-representation. I enjoy dressing up to communicate how I'm feeling at a certain moment. I also enjoy reappropriating looks that have been traditionally seen as feminine and making it my own.
Which of these words most closely relates to your identity: queer/femme/butch/lady/girlie/woman/dude/lesbian/gay/straight/andro/trans?
Lady/girlie/woman/dude? This is hard.
Is a combination of these words necessary to define your self-identity?
Sometimes the labels help me frame what I want to articulate.
How do you define "femininity"?
As a multi-faceted and fluid construct. And, largely defined by the person. This is terrible, I'm a psychologist, and I should come up with a better operational definition. But, I truly feel this way.
Do you see femininity as limiting or freeing? How do you argue for or against "traditional" forms of femininity?
When I was younger I saw it as limiting, now I see it as freeing, for sure. This might be because the way I view femininity has a much wider range than the way I viewed it when I was younger.
What does "femme" or "femininity" personally mean to you? Do you relate to these terms? Do you project your own definition onto these terms and re-define them?
It means that I'm a lady, and I can do whatever the fuck I want.
Can femininity be a revolutionary act?
Of course!
Do you consider yourself a feminist? If yes, have you ever seen femininity as limiting to your feminism? If no, why not?
Hell yes, I do. And no. Because being a feminist is realizing that you can redefine femininity for yourself.
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